When does a positive seem more like a negative?
Alexia Amend • February 13, 2025
When does a positive seem more like a negative?
When you take a pregnancy test and pregnancy is NOT part of the plan.
This is what happened when I took my first pregnancy test. I stared in disbelief wondering how
on earth this could be happening to me. I was only 18, a senior in high school and not at all
planning to have a baby. I felt fear and anxiety pressing down on me, and in my panic, I made a
decision I wish I would have taken more time to make.
I thought that having an abortion would be like hitting a reset button and that it would make it
like I had never been pregnant. I didn’t know about fetal development, the risks associated with
an abortion, what other options were available to me, or how I might feel someday looking back.
All I knew was that I was pregnant and that it was a problem to be solved.
Abortion promised to be an easy solution.
It was not.
I remember the emptiness I felt as I left the abortion clinic. Was this normal?
I had just felt my body struggle against the suction machine and lose. I remember feeling the
moment I became no longer pregnant. This wasn’t a reset. This wasn’t making it go away; this
was something different.
I couldn’t put it into words then, but looking back I can see the emptiness I felt become the
predominate feeling in my life. I was empty. I tried hard to fill that emptiness by clinging to my
boyfriend even more and working harder than ever to make my plans happen. Maybe then it
would somehow justify what I had done.
Nine months later I found myself looking at another positive pregnancy test. How? How could
this happen again? What was I going to do?
This time, I didn’t make the decision immediately. I went to Hope Pregnancy Center and
learned more about my options. I learned about fetal development, abortion procedures and
their risks, adoption, and parenting. They gave me the information I needed to make an
informed decision.
I looked very seriously at adoption. I went to an agency and was able to ask questions about
the process and what it would be like if I chose that path.
I felt like this pregnancy was a chance to make up for my decision to terminate my first
pregnancy. So, in the end, my boyfriend and I decided to parent. He told me he would be there
for me and we would be ok.
He left when I was 5 months pregnant. He decided it was too much for him and he didn’t want
to be a dad. All my worst fears came true. My boyfriend left, my goals and plans crumbled all
around me. And now I was going to have a baby to raise on my own.
I went back to Hope and took their parenting classes. I learned so much that helped prepare
me for motherhood. I also earned items in the baby boutique that I would otherwise not been
able to afford. They encouraged and supported me when I thought I was alone.
Looking back, I can see what at first seemed negative, really was a positive. My daughter is
now 25 and has two sweet boys of her own. I am so thankful for the gift she has been in my life.
But having her didn’t ease the pain I felt from my abortion. In fact, it amplified it in many ways.
It was hard to look at her ultrasound and know that was the same age I had my abortion. I
didn’t celebrate any of my pregnancies because I always felt the shame and regret of ending my
first pregnancy.
It wasn’t until 10 years after having my daughter that I learned there was help available for
women, like me, who have had an abortion.
Hope Pregnancy Center offers a program called Forgiven and Set Free where post abortive
women can come together and find healing. When I took the class, I learned just how deeply
abortion wounded me. The class allowed me a safe place to look at the darkest day of my life
and know that I am not alone.
I am so thankful Hope was there for me when I needed hope most. And now I get the privilege
of working on staff and being part of the team that helps women who feel the fear, anxiety, pain,
guilt and shame, just like I felt, have Hope.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can be a serious concern. We offer free Sexually Transmitted Disease information in Oklahoma as well as education, resources and referrals. Just because STDs are common doesn’t mean they’re no big deal. Left untreated, infections can cause irreversible damage to your reproductive system, which can lead to high risk pregnancy, miscarriage, infertility, sterility or other long-term complications. Serious complications can occur if an STD isn’t treated before you undergo an abortion procedure. STD testing is extremely important before deciding whether or not to have an abortion. Here’s how. During an abortion procedure, cells infected with Chlamydia or Gonorrhea can travel from your vaginal opening up into your uterus. When the cells travel and are not treated, you are at greater risk for developing a secondary infection called Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID). PID is pretty serious. According to the Center for Disease Control , it can put you at risk for ectopic pregnancy, infertility, abscess, chronic pelvic/abdominal pain, and pain and bleeding during sex. In order to avoid medical complications, the best thing to do is to make it a priority to get screened and treated first if you’re headed to the abortion clinic. You owe it to yourself to be safe. Don’t ignore the important step of STD testing before an abortion. The Center for Disease Control can provide you with accurate and up-to-date information on each STI.
When people come to Hope Pregnancy Center for pregnancy testing or consultations, they often share with us stories of how they thought they couldn’t become pregnant or why they thought they were safe. Let’s look at some of the more common myths about unintended pregnancy and conception. If you are concerned you may be pregnant, contact Hope Pregnancy Center today.
In the past few years, there’s been a growing focus on abortion and reproductive rights. Events such as the Reproductive Health Act enacted in New York at the start of this year and the Human Life Protection Act passed in Alabama a few months ago have served to make the spotlight shine brighter on the issue. Out of this debate has spawned a new focus: self-managed abortion. This has been the cause of much controversy and conflicting information, making it difficult to know what it truly is. In today’s blog, we dispel the myths around this topic and share the facts. Keep reading to learn more, then contact Hope Pregnancy Center for more information on all pregnancy options.